03 July 2014

More Old Stuff

None of it very good, but it seems I was in an interesting headspace at the time (May 2003):


shattering out
from the outside in
who took that hammer to your heart?

you were so constructed
so cool
the heat blew off of you
steaming

but now you're cracking,
breaking
no mistaking

shattering out
from the outside in
the scream is growing inside you

shattering out
from the outside in
you're shaking
with the heartbreak

your world was built
on a hill of glass
all it took was this crash
to shatter you out
     
****
your tomorrow's a horizon
your sun is sinking over
can you see it
your world gone dim
gone dark

but right here in this moment
right here standing with you
there's a streetlight shining
but you don't care
you can't feel it

this now is a spotlight
this moment is yours, mine, ours
and when the sun comes up again
tomorrow will be just as far

you're stretching for something
you're reaching for the distance
why put that between us
when I'm right here

you make your plans to get there
you drive 'til there's nowhere left
and no matter how far, how fast
the horizon's still out there
the day is passing
the sun is gone
      
****
you're headed for a crash
moving too fast
where's the fire
who'd you burn this time

you're headed for lonely
trying to escape
take one look in the rearview
before you go
I'll still be standing
standing here

now you're running for cover
now you're running scared
you're avoiding something
that's not even there
you've been keeping secrets
for way too long
shaking hands with shadows

what's wrong with daylight
what are you afraid you'll see

did you take what you wanted
got what you came for
Merry-go-Round again

and now you're running for cover
you're running scared
and I can't get the feeling
that you ever cared
you've been keeping secrets
for way too long
shaking hands with the shadows
climbing the cracks in the wall

running for cover
running scared
avoiding something
that's never been there
your heart, it's never
it's not there

****

your world is a circle
it's a square
it's closing in
are you scared now

it's hitting home
bouncing off walls
it echoes your heart
the hallow halls inside

all alone and empty
all by yourself in the dark
a world turning slowly
a world falling in
falling in on you

and it hits like a fist
cuts like a knife
this sharp nothing inside you

your world is a ripple
you're reaching for shore
something to hold to
something more than

a world turning slowly
a world falling down
crashing around you

come to me
let me show you the door
I'll be the rock you can cling to
I'll be your something more

****

I feel like I have been subtracted from
like I am reaching, barely breathing
barely touching, barely teasing
something out of myself

where did I leave it
where did I go wrong
at what crossroads did I turn
and find myself here
alone in the dark

I set my heart down and lost it
in the shuffle, in the scuffle
in all the pushing on me

where did I leave it
wasn't it here on my sleeve

and they all keep asking
they all keep wanting to know
they keep telling me
there's nothing wrong
there's nothing wrong

but I know, I know, I know
that something's missing from me
something somebody stole
and they keep on reaching
keep on reaching
barely touching, barely teasing
the heart out of me

****

I guess I always knew
when the sun came up on us
that we'd have nothing to say
nothing to cross this gulf

you're staring at me
through the smoke of your cigarette
and I can see strangely clear
through to the heart of you
what isn't there
what isn't true

what makes you smile
is it the sun
the wide blue sky
there's a breeze filling me
it's like I have wings
like I've left you behind
behind me

you ask me to tell you
something real, something true
but I always knew
when the sun set on us
I'd have nothing to say
nothing to prove to you

I'm searching for
what'll make me smile
the sun
the wide blue sky
this breeze filling me
giving me wings
and I've left you behind
I've left you behind

soaring, free-wheeling
I think this is killing me

I can't make you smile
I've just got this breeze
it's filling me
filling me
it's setting me free
free to fly
free to fall
on my own
free to leave you behind

I'm falling, falling away

I'm free to leave you behind. . . me. . .

No comments: